Here and There
by PSU93Girl
Summary: Set about a week after the end of "Devil You Know." The rating is now M, just to be safe for part of Ch. 4. Since there were hardly any reviews for Ch. 4 I've decided to end the story here. Thanks for reading!
1. Here

A/N: This has been in my head for a few days now and I can't shake it. It's going to be 2 chapters, one from Fiona's POV and one from Michael's. This obviously takes place after "Devil You Know," maybe a week or so after the end scene.

Still don't own them. Still would LOVE to. Thanks to the incredible Matt Nix for creating these characters so I can play with them from time to time.

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I was curled up on my side on the bed in Michael's old room, his pillow hugged tight to my chest. Sam and Maddie had insisted I come here after spending so many days alone at Michael's loft. Michael hadn't slept in this bed in ages, yet the pillow and sheets still smelled like him. It was comforting and torturous all at the same time.

I wasn't the kind of person who needed someone. I could take care of myself better than most men and I'd proven that time and time again. Many times to Michael's frustration. But this time, with Michael completely off the radar, I found myself aching for his presence. Things had been so good for us, we'd been so in tune with each other since the whole O'Neill mess, and as much as I wanted to deny it, I had come to rely on his role in my life.

I dozed off, memories of recent moments we had shared rushing back as I inhaled his scent. Michael placing me on the sand after rescuing me from the water. Lounging on Maddie's sofa as Michael said, "We're no good at this." Michael repairing my stitches for the second time, followed quickly by me punching him in the jaw.

More than those big moments though, it was the little moments that came to the forefront of my mind. An almost kiss as we built a bug. A moment in a hotel room. Waking up wrapped in Michael's strong arms. I had really gotten used to that. I'd never tell him, but my kidnapping had left me a bit shaken and he had been my rock. We'd spent almost every night together; sex or no sex, and he had made me feel safe.

I allowed a few small tears to fall from my eyes. I'd lost count of the number of times that had happened since Michael ran off after Simon. I hadn't completely lost it though and to his credit, Sam always pretended not to notice. We were doing what we had to do to try to find Michael and if nothing else that required us to be on our game. Emotions just couldn't get in the way.

As the sun rose outside the window I heard Maddie walk down the hall to the kitchen. Poor Maddie. She loved her son so much and it had taken so long for him to return that love. And now he was gone. For who knows how long. She was holding it together though. I was actually proud of her; she handled the FBI agent so well.

I knew she would. We were completely different people but the one major thing we shared was our love for Michael. We could endure anything we had to in order to help Michael.

I pushed myself up off the bed, still hugging the pillow tightly to my chest, and headed into the kitchen. I had to get out of here and I wanted to do it before Sam was up. Maddie would understand. Sam would try to stop me. But I needed to be back in one of the last places Michael was before he disappeared. The windows had been fixed and there was nothing helpful there but I still needed to go back to the loft.

I walked into the kitchen and without a word Maddie handed me a yogurt and a spoon. Our morning ritual. And afternoon ritual. And, well, pretty much anytime we were thinking about Michael ritual. I shifted the pillow to my side as I ate. Neither of us spoke, Sam's snoring from down the hall the only sound in the house.

"Maddie, I…" I started to say.

"I know Fiona, you're going back to the loft," she replied before I could finish my sentence, "I understand. If I could actually do something I'd be going back there too. Just be careful."

I nodded, words Maddie had said back when Michael first returned from his helicopter ride with Management fresh in my mind. "You three need to stick together!" We had tried. And now Sam and I had to find Michael. Whatever it took.

"Go ahead honey; just make sure you let me know what's going on. I'll stall Sam for as long as I can."

"Thank you Maddie," I said, handing her Michael's pillow and heading outside to the latest car we'd managed to acquire.

I made my way to Michael's loft, taking a roundabout route to make sure I wasn't being followed (I wasn't) and spending a few minutes walking around outside to make sure nobody was watching (nobody was).

I entered the loft, part of me hoping beyond hope that Michael was somewhere inside. He had once returned here thinking I was gone, only to find me sitting on a stool waiting for him. If only I could have that same experience this time.

He wasn't there, of course.

I took a deep breath, dropping my bag on the table and looking around. I didn't know what to do, but being here made me feel like I was at least trying.

I walked over to the bed, looking under it for the hundredth time since Michael was taken, not sure what I was expecting to see. Maybe there was some kind of clue that I had missed.

There wasn't.

My thoughts turned to Michael's last few moments with Sam and me. The emotion in his voice as he told me he had to do this one on his own. The way he spoke my name and held my shoulders before walking away. I wondered where he was and what he was going through.

He wasn't in Miami, that much was certain. Sam and I had combed every corner of the area, coming up empty at every turn. We'd made use of whatever contacts we had—Barry, Agents Harris and Lane, even Jason Bly—but nobody could turn up even a speck of information on where Michael was. Which meant he was almost certainly out of the country.

I sat on the bed, thinking about all the times one of us had laid in it with some sort of injury. We'd taken care of each other, tending to wounds and doing whatever was necessary to nurse the other to health. Many sleepless nights had been spent sitting on the edge of the mattress, watching the other sleep. I'd give anything to have an injured Michael next to me right now.

I was tired. Exhausted. Though I'd dozed off for a while last night I hadn't slept well in days. I found Michael's T-shirt on the chair where I had left it. I slipped my own top off and pulled Michael's shirt over my head, wrapping my arms around myself as I inhaled his scent. I lay down on the bed and wrapped the blankets around me as tight as I could.

My sleep was very fitful as I dreamed of Michael alone in a dark room. He wasn't scared, that wouldn't be like Michael, but he was doing everything he could to figure a way out of the situation and back to…

I woke, wondering who Michael would want to come back to most. I hoped he was thinking of me but did I really know for sure that he was?

As I dozed off again I dreamed of the fights we'd had. Before O'Neill kidnapped me it seemed Michael and I were fighting all the time. He wanted to find a way back in. I wanted him. And I wanted him to want me. I woke with tears on my cheeks again.

My mind drifted to a TV show Maddie and I had watched the day before while Sam was out getting us dinner. A couple was having a fight, and the woman said, "There are a lot of men out there and they don't all have to want me but you _should_ want me." It pained me to admit that I could speak those very words to Michael.

I pulled Michael's pillow to my chest. I'd slept with it so much recently that it was starting to lose his scent. He needed to come back. Soon.

I finally fell into a deep sleep, the blankets wrapped tight around me making me dream of being wrapped in Michael's arms. His touch seemed so real as he held me in my dreams, running his hands up and down my back while he whispered in my ear and pressed gentle kisses to my forehead, my cheeks, my eyelids, and the top of my head.

It just felt so right and for a few moments as I slept I forgot everything that had happened. It was just Michael and me enjoying being in each other's arms and relaxing for a change. It rarely happened but when it had it had been wonderful.

Just as Michael leaned in to kiss my lips in my dream I heard the chirping of my phone. It had to be Sam. I wanted to ignore it but I knew he'd keep calling if I didn't pick up. I made my way over to my phone, surprised to see, not Sam's number, but an unknown number.

Pressing the green button, I said, "Hello?"

All I could hear at first was static, but then suddenly the line cleared just enough for me to hear a faint, "Fi?"

It couldn't be.

It wasn't possible.

Was it?

"Michael? Is that you? Are you hurt? Where are you?" I asked, not really believing it could be him.

"Fi, I…" More static. "… need… Sam…" The phone kept cutting in and out.

"Michael, we're working on finding you, can you tell me anything to help us?"

"Fi…" And the line went dead.

I couldn't believe it. I was wide awake, my heart pounding a mile a minute.

At that moment Sam walked through the door.

"Sam, Michael just called me. I couldn't hear much but I know it was him!"

"What, are you sure Fi?"

"Of course Sam, I _know_ Michael's voice when I hear it! We have work to do, we have to find him… and do it soon! I'm sure that phone call wasn't exactly authorized by Management."

"Well then, let's get to work Fi."

************

OK I know it's probably not likely Michael would be able to call Fi but like I said, it's an idea I've had in my mind.

Stay tuned for Chapter 2, from Michael's POV. And please let me know what you think.


	2. There

Here you go, it's time for Michael's POV. I think this will be it for this story.

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_When you're a spy, you're trained to keep track of the days when you're in captivity. It's almost certain you'll be caught at some point and one way to keep a measure of sanity is to keep track of day and night. When the people holding you take away every opportunity for you to determine whether it's day or night you know you're dealing with professionals. They control what time it is, what the temperature is, whether it's light or dark. So much so that you quickly lose track of how long you've been wherever you are._

I lay on the bed in the loft, my beautiful Fiona naked under me. We had been kissing for hours, taking advantage of a rare free afternoon to get reacquainted. It had been too long since we'd been together like this.

She writhed under me, every touch of her body against mine sending me to new heights of excitement. She was pure heat and energy and even though I'm not a praying person I said a silent prayer of thanks for the wonder that was Fiona Glenanne and the twists of fate that had brought us together not once but twice in our lives. I had almost lost her again and I was going to make damn sure that didn't happen a third time.

I pulled back to look at her, eyes closed waiting for the next kiss, a small smile playing across her gorgeous lips. Her hand unclasped from behind my back as she reached for my face…

Suddenly I awoke as a plate of food was shoved through the barely open door in the room where my captors forced me to spend most of my time these days.

"HEY!" I called out, desperate for some kind of human contact. It had been days since anyone had actually spoken to me. Well, I thought it had been days. These people (I assumed they were somehow connected to Management) were professionals. Try as I might to count the hours, I had completely lost track of day and night and I had no idea how long I'd been held. My best estimate was a little over a week but it could have been much longer than that.

Fiona would be so disappointed in me. I could see her now, wagging her finger at me as she explained that it was just bad operational form for me not to know what time of day—or even what day for that matter—it was.

Fiona.

I sighed as I thought of her. I was a little worried about her. Sam would take care of my mom and he wouldn't take unnecessary chances, so I knew they were safe.

But my Fiona—she would move mountains in her quest to find me. And she wouldn't care whether she had backup or how dangerous it was. I'd do the same for her, of course—and I very recently had—but that didn't mean I wanted her doing it.

Sure, I wanted to get out of here and back to the people I loved, but I wanted them to be whole and waiting for me when I got back. Because if there was one thing I'd learned in the past few months since Tom Strickler had come into my life, it was that the people I loved meant more to me than anything.

I was starving, so I investigated the tray of food that had been left for me. As usual, it was passably edible without being particularly tasty. I had been granted the privilege of a spoon this time. That wasn't always the case. Particularly when my captors left me some sort of soup to eat. I had to hand it to these guys; they had a sense of humor.

I finished the meager portion on my tray and turned my thoughts to my latest plan. Inspection of this room and the other to which I was occasionally taken had revealed that escape was impossible. Skilled as I was there was just no way to get out on my own.

I had, however, managed to put another plan into motion. One day while I was being interrogated I had managed to swipe one of my interrogators' cell phones. Reception was very poor in the room where I was kept when I wasn't being interrogated, but each trip to the interrogation room had allowed me to acquire various pieces to try to rig up an antenna that would give me a chance to make a phone call.

Paper clips, staples, the spring from a click pen, whatever I could get my hands on became part of my project. It had taken a while but my latest acquisition—the foil from the top of a yogurt—had boosted reception just enough that I thought I could get a call out.

They would probably know, of course, though I was surprised they hadn't tried to stop me from building the thing in the first place. Part of me thought they hadn't been paying attention but I knew it was more likely that they were waiting to see what I was going to do with all of these random things. I had kept the cell phone well hidden so I was reasonably sure they didn't know I had that.

Fact was, as soon as I launched this plan I'd have maybe 45 seconds before I would pay a high price. Maybe a full minute if I was lucky. Then I didn't want to think about what would be done to me, though I was sure it would involve something along the lines of cracked ribs or a black eye. Or maybe both.

None of that mattered. All that mattered was that I heard Fiona's voice. I was holding it together fine, that wasn't an issue, but I knew hearing her voice would sustain me for as long as my captors kept me in the dark.

And I also knew what it would do for her, which is why I had been hesitating in actually making the call. As hard as she was looking now, and as many chances as she was taking, I knew my phone call—if I could get it to go through—would cause her to look even harder and take even more dangerous chances.

But I needed her. A spy wasn't supposed to need anyone but I couldn't deny that anymore. Having been faced with Fiona's death twice within a very short period of time had shaken both of us. But it had shaken me more.

Watching Gabriel holding a gun on Fiona, helpless to do anything about it, was one of the most agonizing moments of my life. At least with O'Neill we had been able to fight for her. Words could not describe the relief I felt when Gabriel lowered his gun. Beautiful, brilliant Fiona had talked her way out of certain death and I couldn't be prouder of her.

I needed to know Fiona was out there doing everything her pretty little Irish head could think of to try to get me back. And I knew this phone call would light a fire under her and make her work even harder than I was sure she was already working.

I had no idea what time it was when I stood up to retrieve the cell phone and my makeshift antenna from their hiding places. I could only hope that Fiona hadn't changed cell phone numbers (part of me knew she wouldn't, because she would want me to be able to contact her at the last number I had for her) and that she was in a place where she could answer. I was counting on the fact that she would pick up a call from an unfamiliar number.

I paused to make sure nobody was coming. I waited a few more minutes just to be certain. Generally my captors left me alone for hours at a time but sometimes they came by much more frequently. It looked like today was going to be a lonely day for me, so I made my way to the corner of the room where the signal was its strongest.

Strongest, of course, was relative—it was so weak I wasn't sure I'd be able to connect, but it was as good as I was going to get. I started to dial Fiona's number, pausing after each digit to make sure the hallway outside my door was quiet.

After an agonizingly long period of time I entered the last digit and hit Send. It took a few seconds for the signal to connect but when it did the ringing I heard was music to my ears. The line was very staticy but eventually I heard someone pick up.

My breath caught in my throat as I heard the voice I'd been hearing in my head and aching to hear for real ever since that moment out on the street when I'd had to walk away from two of the most important people I've ever known.

"Hello?" Fiona said, barely audible through the static but enough to make my heart race.

"Fi?" I replied, but it was clear she couldn't hear me. Adjusting the antenna just slightly I repeated her name a few times until the line cleared enough and I was pretty sure she had heard me.

"Michael? Is… you? …you hurt? Where… you?" she asked, her words coming out faster than my brain had time to process them.

"Fi, I'm fine. I'm not sure where I am but I need you and Sam to stick together and make sure my mom stays safe," I said to her, hoping she heard a few of the words at least.

"Michael… finding you, …tell me any.. us?"

"Fi," I started to say, and at that moment the door flew open and before I knew rough hands were smacking the phone away from my ear. I heard a foot smashing the phone to bits. Just before a fist connected with my face, plunging my whole world into darkness, I smiled with the knowledge that for a few precious seconds I had been able to talk to my beautiful Fiona and she would now be working that much harder to find me.

"That was a mistake, Michael," I heard one of my captors say before his fist collided with my nose, knocking me out, memories of Fiona fresh in my mind.

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Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!


	3. Responsibilities

OK I got a bit more inspiration so I decided to give this story a few more chapters. I actually got the idea for what will be the next chapter first, but I felt I needed this interim chapter from Sam's POV. Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed and favorite this story, you guys are awesome!

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I woke to the sound of the door closing. I knew Fiona had headed back to Mike's loft, even though she knew there was nothing of value to be found there. I suppose it wasn't a real surprise to me—I'd actually been shocked that she'd agreed to come to Maddie's house with me yesterday. And when she'd agreed to stay overnight I'd REALLY been shocked.

I knew I'd have to go after her but I also knew she could take care of herself, so I allowed myself a few extra minutes of rest. None of us had been sleeping well since Mike disappeared and every second we could rest was important if we were going to be able to figure out a way to find him and bring him home.

As I lay there in Maddie's guest room I thought about all that had happened since Mike was dumped back in Miami. He didn't want to be here then and while it would be a stretch to say he wanted to be here now, he had at least become more accepting of his current location.

Three years ago the prospect of looking out for Fiona would have made me scoff. When I walked into Mike's loft shortly after he arrived in Miami and saw her there I was less than thrilled. She and I had been on opposing sides in many many deals back in the day.

But the time we'd spent working together with Mike had changed things. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say we'd become friends but when it looked like she was leaving I had actually felt a little bad. When Mike and I went to rescue her from O'Neill I had promised him I'd do whatever it took to get her back if something happened to him.

There was nothing romantic between us and there never would be, she was clearly Mike's girl. But we'd reached a mutual understanding and a certain amount of respect for each other. There was no doubt about her importance to Mike, and that was enough for me to want to keep an eye out for her until he got back from wherever it is Management was holding him. It's what buddies do for each other.

I stretched and decided it was time to get up. I pulled pants over the boxers I'd slept in and made my way into the kitchen. Maddie greeted me with my usual breakfast—black coffee and a cinnamon bun. I noticed 2 empty yogurt containers on the table in front of her.

"Yes, Sam, I made sure she ate something before she went over to the loft."

"I never had a doubt, Maddie," I replied, "you're one of the few people she actually listens to there days."

"You're going after her?" she asked me.

"Of course, who knows what she'll do to try to find Mike. He'd never forgive me if something happened to hear and I hadn't done everything I could to try to keep her safe."

"She's not going to like that, you know."

"Tell me something I don't know!" I replied.

"But you're right; it's what Michael would want." Maddie said, standing up to clear my empty dish and mug and the empty yogurt containers from the table. "You know where she went?"

"Sure do Maddie, I'm on it." I said, heading back to the guest room for a quick shower. I had a few things I wanted to check into before going over to the loft.

Since it seemed safe to drive the Charger, I grabbed the keys from Maddie and headed out on my quest for information about Mikey. Fi and I had already talked to everyone we thought could possibly have information and come up short, but I wasn't going to give up that easily. You never know what might have happened overnight.

Barry still hadn't heard a thing, though he promised he was keeping an ear out.

Agents Harris and Lane wanted Mike back almost as much as Fi and I did—the fact that he had been taken from right under the FBI's nose was an embarrassment—but they hadn't heard anything new either. I knew they would continue to look.

Fiona was going to work on Jason Bly, so I decided to head over to the loft to see if she had come up with anything. And to make sure she hadn't launched some armed, explosive assault on anyone in her mission to find Mike.

I took a roundabout route to the loft, in case someone was following me. Satisfied that nobody was, I parked the Charger and prepared myself for what I might find inside. There was no telling what emotional state Fiona might be in.

Truly, she had held it together better than I expected she would. She hadn't run off in a quest to blow something up. She'd actually listened to my suggestions and agreed that we should take a slow, meticulous approach to finding Mike.

I wasn't good with the whole emotional woman thing so I was very glad she hadn't turned into a weepy mess. She hadn't even really looked to me for comfort, instead letting our actions of looking for any information about Mike that we could find comfort her.

I paused in the courtyard to close the gate and look around for anything we might have missed. I knew we hadn't missed anything, Fiona had turned over every pebble twice, but it never hurt to look again.

I could hear Fiona's voice through the open window as I climbed the stairs. She was clearly on the phone, and speaking quite loudly too. Maybe she'd found something out, I thought as I ran up the last few steps and opened the door.

"Sam, Michael just called me. I couldn't hear much but I know it was him!"

"What, are you sure Fi?"

"Of course Sam, I _know_ Michael's voice when I hear it! We have work to do, we have to find him… and do it soon! I'm sure that phone call wasn't exactly authorized by Management."

"Well then, let's get to work Fi."

I could hardly believe what she was telling me. If anyone could figure out how to make a call from some unknown faraway place it was Mike.

"Fi, what did he say?"

"I couldn't really hear Sam; he said my name and your name and something about help."

"OK, that's a start, can you remember anything else?"

"Unfortunately no, there was too much static."

"Well it's more than we had. Can you get anything from your cell phone?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll start working on it."

"Good plan. I'm going to go update Agents Harris and Lane—there may be a free lunch in this for me!"

I left Fi to the computer stuff and headed out, calling Harris and Lane and arranging a meeting at Carlito's. There was almost a skip in my step for the first time since Mike drove away after Simon and Management.

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OK this was really just a filler chapter to move the story along a little. But I'd still love to know what you think!

I'm going to start writing the next chapter tomorrow and I'll try to have it posted before I go out of town for the weekend.


	4. I Never Told You

Chapter 4 was inspired by the new Colbie Caillat song, "I Never Told You." I was pondering whether I could do another chapter for this story and the song came on my XM Radio and the lyrics just seemed to fit this story—and where Matt Nix left us—perfectly.

I decided to change the rating to M just to be safe, though I'm not sure at this point whether it will truly be an M story.

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After Sam left I got to work on trying to find any information I could about Michael's phone call. It had come up "Unknown" so that was of course no help. But I had an idea how I could possibly get some information about that call.

Sam was working his contacts but I had a contact of my own. And one in the federal government at that.

I had to laugh as I prepared to call the one person I suspected might be able to shed some light on the origin of that phone call. He was the last person I'd ever expect to call and yet here I was calling him for the second time in a week. Shaking my head, I punched in the numbers and listened to the ring.

"Fiona Glenanne, I had a feeling I'd be hearing from you soon," Jason Bly said as he answered his phone.

"And why would that be, Agent Bly?" I asked. I knew exactly why he was expecting my call but I wanted to make him say it.

"Yes, we are listening to your phone. But you already knew that."

"Well, what can you tell me?" I asked, growing impatient and wanting to hear anything that could get me closer to finding Michael and bringing him back home to me.

"Not much at this point, but we're working on it. Let's get together later this afternoon," Bly replied.

"You're in Miami?" I asked, surprised since the last time we'd talked he'd been up in Washington, DC and he told me he had no plans to come down to Miami.

"I will be in a few hours. In light of Michael's phone call my bosses felt I should take a trip. I'll call you when I land."

"If you screw with me on this Bly, I'll—"

"I know, I know, trust me, we want to find him as much as you do."

"Have a safe flight, Agent Bly," I said. I hung up my phone and stared at the computer screen, wishing something would magically appear that would give me the key to finding out where Michael was.

It had become stifling in the loft so I opened the windows and the balcony doors to try to cool it down. I lingered out on the balcony, remembering the many many days and nights Michael and I had spent out here together.

We'd fought, we'd planned strategy, and we'd discussed successful and failed jobs. We'd huddled together under a blanket on a chilly night, his arms holding me tightly as we watched the stars twinkle overhead.

I shivered at those memories. They were so strong I could almost feel his arms around me, his breath lightly brushing my neck as I leaned against him. I wanted him back so badly I could feel it in every bone in my body.

As I leaned on the balcony railing I heard music playing in the club below the loft. That was nothing strange, of course, but it wasn't the usual loud, fast music that was played most nights. This song was slow and the music sounded sweet. I closed my eyes and listened.

_I miss those blue eyes__  
__How you kiss me at night__  
__I miss the way we sleep_

_Like there's no sunrise__  
__Like the taste of your smile__  
__I miss the way we breathe__  
_  
I gasped. The words expressed so much of what I'd been feeling since Michael had been taken. More than anything, it was his presence and the small moments we shared that I missed. Michael had the ability to speak whole paragraphs with a single look and I ached to look into those blue eyes again. I sighed as I pictured him standing next to me, the light dancing in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around me.

As I stood there with my eyes closed on this warm Miami morning I could almost feel Michael's lips on mine. I imagined his hands pushing the hair out of my face as his lips found mine and he whispered my name. I could feel his tongue reaching out to trace my lips and then brushing against the tip of my own tongue.

He'd lead me back inside and over to the bed, where we'd quickly remove each other's clothing. Every touch of his hands on my bare skin ignited a fire inside me. He knew all of my sweet and tender spots and he would drive me to orgasm over and over again until I couldn't even catch my breath.

After he drove me over the edge he would then let me do the same for him, and after we had both cum one last time we'd collapse together, falling asleep wrapped around each other no matter what time of day. One of us would often wake before the other, laying there watching the other sleep, listening to the sound of deep breaths and remembering the amazing sex we had just shared.

I sighed as I opened my eyes, wishing even more that I could find Michael and bring him home.

_But I never told you__  
__What I should have said__  
__No, I never told you__  
__I just held it in__  
_

These words made my breath catch in my throat. We'd both agreed we were "so not good" at expressing our emotions. But I had to wonder whether that was just an excuse.

Why hadn't I told Michael how I felt?

Why couldn't I say "I love you" to him?

Even after he had rescued me from O'Neill, I couldn't say those words.

_And now,__  
__I miss everything about you__  
__Can't believe that I still want you__  
__And after all the things we've been through__  
__I miss everything about you__  
__Without you__  
_  
It was true. I missed everything about Michael. The way he looked at me, the way he touched me, the way his brow furrowed as we worked on a project together. I missed looking across the table to see him eating a yogurt as we readied ourselves for the day.

I even missed his stubbornness and his overwhelming desire to find out who burned him and get his old job back.

And after he had left me in the middle of the night with no explanation, and after he had rejected me numerous times since our reunion in Miami, and even in the face of his complete unwillingness to admit to our relationship, I still wanted him. Things just weren't right if we weren't together.

I sighed.

_I see your blue eyes__  
__Everytime I close mine__  
__You make it hard to see__  
__Where I belong to__  
__When I'm not around you__  
__It's like I'm alone with me__  
_  
I closed my eyes again and there he was. Michael, the smile on his face making his eyes sparkle as he looked at me.

I was more than capable of taking care of myself but I had to admit without him here I wasn't sure where I fit in. Sure Sam and I got along better these days than we ever had, but he was first and foremost Michael's friend.

Maddie definitely considered me family but how long would that last if Michael didn't come home?

Michael gave me a reason to be here. He anchored me to the other people in my life. A small tear escaped my eyes at the thought of being left alone if he didn't come back.

Sam would find some new woman to occupy his time, and when that fell apart there would be another woman.

Maddie might finally sell the house and move to Vegas to be close to Nate and Ruth now that Michael was out of the picture.

I couldn't go back to Ireland and I'd stayed in Miami because I needed to get out of New York. I suppose I could pick up and move somewhere completely new but after being here and doing so much with Michael for 3 years I couldn't even begin to think about doing that.

_But I never told you__  
__What I should have said__  
__No, I never told you__  
__I just held it in__  
_  
I hoped that when he came back I would have the strength to tell him.

If I had told him before he might be able to hang onto that and use that to find his way back to me.

But I had been scared. Having him here, knowing how he felt—and knowing that he knew how I felt—had seemed like enough, and I didn't want to push him away.

_And now,__  
__I miss everything about you__  
__Can't believe that I still want you__  
__And after all the things we've been through__  
__I miss everything about you__  
__Without you__  
_  
I couldn't deny or fight it any longer. Michael was a part of me and I only hoped that he felt I was a part of him. Being without him was just about the most unsettling thing I'd experienced since Claire's death.

_But I never told you__  
__What I should have said__  
__No, I never told you__  
__I just held it in_

_And now,__  
__I miss everything about you__  
__Can't believe that I still want you__  
__And after all the things we've been through__  
__I miss everything about you__  
__Without you_

As the music ended I closed my eyes and smiled as I pictured Michael looking at me and shaking his head as I let emotions get the better of me. This certainly wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last.

I remained on the balcony a little while longer, replaying memories of Michael in my head. For the first time since he took off after Simon, I truly believed Michael was going to find his way back to me. Or that Sam and I were going to find a way to bring him back.

There was a job to do, and I had to be ready when Jason Bly arrived in Miami, so I allowed myself one last memory before heading back inside.

I picked up my phone, hit the speed dial, and listened as it rang.

"Sam, I think I've made a little progress. Can you come back to the loft in a little while?"

He agreed, and as I lay on the bed to try to rest, I could feel Michael's strong arms holding me. I was confident that he'd soon be here to join me.

************

I'm not sure if there will be more. I'm going out of town for a little bit so it won't be before next week if I do decide to write more of this story.

Stay tuned and thanks as always for all the reviews!


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